Your Mental Anchor

Intelligence, smartness, being clever all rely on one very important ability we all have.

 

If you are aware of that ability, if you know how to use that ability, you will be able to handle problems, solve quarrels, and overcome barriers easily.

 

The interesting thing is that the more you use that ability, your IQ goes up and so does your bank account.

 

Now, if you don’t use that ability, or if you don’t know how to use that ability, or if you are not aware that you even have that ability, your life will deteriorate. You will understand less those who you love most. You will sell less, you will promote less, you will make less money than what you can make! You will lose friends, you will lose connections with people that can take you to huge success in business and in life. In short you lose, you become less – you act less, you act less cleverly, you become stupid, and of course you do not succeed in life as much as you could.

 

Sad but true.

 

The fascinating fact is that the source of all those problems is totally hidden from you.

 

The specific person that causes those disasters is not in view as far as you are concerned.

 

I am sure you are dying to know what that ability is and how you get it…

 

Here we go… it is coming.

 

The most important ability in life, the ability that is most important for sales, relationships, love, engineering, planning, and even happiness is a very specific ability.

 

At first it will seem too simple, but by the end of this article you will have a new view on life!

 

The ability is…

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THE ABILITY TO OBSERVE.

 

Observe can be defined as the ability to establish facts by assembling the full picture, right and wrong, good and bad. It is a causative action, as opposed to looking. Looking would be accepting the information in view – it is passive. When you look, you are being an effect.

 

For as long as you can’t observe, find what is true for you, establish the full picture, become your own source, you will fail.

 

The moment you will develop that ability, the ability to observe, you will get on the road to an inevitable success.

 

Let me explain:

 

Basically, at any moment in time you either observe or you look (looking is a degree of blindness as you accept the information in view).

 

When you are blind, you are a robot that executes orders; and when you can observe, you are a person that makes decisions and gives orders.

 

You are either the computing man or just a tool, a computer in use.

 

The less you observe, the less you can decide, the more you operate based on the programmer’s wishes that tell you what to think, what to do, what not to do.

 

The question is why do you stop observing, or how do you lose your ability to observe?

 

The answer is… the snake!

 

Or more accurately, The Relationship Snake.

 

What that person does is supply you with negative remarks about people in your life (since you have one sided information, you can only look, you can not observe) until that person causes you to distance yourself from that person or group – you will feel you need to reduce the number of communications, to weaken the connection, to cool down the relationship.

 

Let’s see how it works…

 

Let’s say we have a coach, Mark, that teaches people and helps them to do better in life. And let’s say that our coach Mark hires one of his students, Bela, to help him help his students by doing marketing and sales.

 

Bela is very good at what she does and promises to push Mark’s purpose...

 

Bela starts to work with Mark and gets to know his suppliers, his clients, and even his friends and family.

 

Bela spreads admiration and good about Mark, but from time to time when she talks privately to Mark’s clients she makes sure she explains how much she loves Mark, BUT that he is not okay in the way he handles a specific situation. She says that now that she works closely with him, she realizes all kinds of things (trying not to specify too much). She looks continuously for those people that have any kinds of questions about Mark and spreads her venom, but the venom is always covered with sugar so the person hearing it will not fully feel he has been bitten.

 

Or let’s say Bob is a massage therapist and he hires Karen’s marketing company. Karen is very good at what she does and Bob is very happy. He tells his friend George that he just hired Karen’s company and George says, “Karen from Best Marketing? No… tell me you didn’t… She is the worst! She promises the world and never delivers… She is a snake… She knows how to talk but can not do the walk… You need to run, and fast! I wish you would have asked me before you closed with her – a good friend of mine lost a lot with her. That is how I met her the first time… She cheated him, and I understand she cheated many other business owners.”

 

This is stage one – the poisoning. At this step, the snake injects the venom.

 

Now, let’s have a look at what will happen with Mark and his relationship with his client, and what will happen with Bob and Karen’s relationship.

 

There are a couple of options:

 

1. The Blind

2. The Spy

 

THE BLIND

 

The blind will not want to get involved.

 

They will not check the data, they will not want to get involved – they are blind and prefer to stay blind.

 

Their computation is: the possibility of dirt is enough for me to decide it is dirty.

 

In the case of the coach Mark, the client will ask for a refund and will say something like, “While I must admit the data you provided was mind blowing (as I wrote in my success stories), I feel that what you teach will not work for me. So, thank you for all the help, but it’s not for me. Please refund me as promised.”

 

In the case of Bob and Karen’s marketing company, Bob will write an email to Karyn and will explain how he decided not to promote in the way she suggested, and he found a better way to do it. He will thank Karen for all the time she spent with him and for all the knowledge she gave him for free. He will also say that they may work together in the future…

 

So, what are we looking at?

 

STUPIDITY!

 

Stupidity is defined as:

 

1. Acting based on opinions and not based on observed data – with a worsened outcome.

2. Following overt or covert orders without personally observed data.

 

And hence, all robots are stupid, and all stupid people are robots.

 

The client (in the case of Mark), and Bob (in the case of Karen), both acted stupidly (robotically) as they did not act based on observed data but based on the covert or overt orders from the programmer – the Snake Bela and the Snake George.

 

Bob (that decided not to work with Karen) and the client that asked for a refund from Mark were both poisoned, and as a result ended up with a worsened outcome – Mark’s coaching and Karen’s marketing was working well until the snake came and destroyed a good thing!

 

Bob (Karen’s marketing client) and Mark’s (the coach) client did something that they would not want someone else to do to them – be dropped with no real explanation – and by that committed a sin with all the implications of a sin (I will expand on this in the future).

 

But even worse, both admitted they cannot observe, and that alone puts them one notch down toward total robots.

 

THE SPY

 

The spy on the other hand decides that they will continue to work with Karen or Mark, but will check… they will check and will find out if what the snake said was true or false.

 

This is fake observation.

 

Why is it fake?

 

When you check someone due to hidden reports, or even worse due to an order, you do not observe, you spy!

 

Spies work against enemies and look for anything that can harm or destroy the enemy.

 

So when you go to “observe” based on a hidden report, you have decided:

 

1. The person you check is an enemy, and

2. You are looking for anything that can harm that enemy.

 

And guess what – IN LIFE YOU FIND ONLY THOSE THINGS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR.

 

It is much like having a judge that is going to pass judgment in a case of you vs. John, but John is the judge’s son’s best friend, and the son keeps giving the judge hidden reports about all the bad things you have done.

 

What do you think will happen?

 

Exactly, Fake Observation.

 

The judge becomes a spy!

 

It is inevitable – for as long as the “observation” is based on a hidden communication, the judge will become a spy.

 

I was once involved in an organization that did an internal hearing on a friend who was a member of that organization. The hearing was done by a committee of a few staff appointed by some managers. The thing is that the managers decided that my friend was a criminal prior to the hearing, and the managers kept giving hidden communication to the staff on the committee.

 

What do you think happened?

 

Exactly, Fake Observation.

 

The committee’s members became, knowingly or unknowingly, spies!

 

Why?

 

One sided information is ALWAYS a lie.

 

Hidden communication is always one sided and is always a lie.

 

That sounds harsh but it is true.

 

Every story, everything, has two sides in this universe.

 

If you agree to act based on one side of the story, it turns the information into venom, and you into a spy!

 

Venom is something that you get that can damage you if you don’t get an antidote on time, and the antidote in our examples is the other side of the story. In the cases of Mark and Bob, the antidote is not there – it is missing, and so the relationship that got poisoned died.

 

What makes a robot a robot?

 

The other side of the story is missing… the programmer.

 

Basically, when you go to check someone based on a hidden report, you are not observing, you are spying; and anything that Mark will do will seem to the client as suspect, and anything that Karen will do will be looked at by Bob with the purpose of finding what is wrong with it, totally ignoring what is right with it.

 

Let’s say Mark was busy and did not answer the client’s WhatsApp messages for a bit of time.

 

The client says to himself, “Of course, I knew it. This is proof for what my “friend” told me…”

 

The client thinks that he sees, but he is blind – he observes through the poison. The poison acts as a filter.

 

What we have here is the only condition that is worse than being blind – being blind and thinking you can see. Poor thing…

 

Karen now has the status of a suspected criminal, and Bob is the detective.

 

So when Bob looks at Karen, he thinks he independently observes, but he is actually being led by the programmer and he acts as a robot.

If you watched the series West World, you know what I am talking about – a robot that is sure he has independent observations and actions.

 

So, what is the handling?

 

Never agree to accept hidden communications.

 

The client should have come to Mark and said, “Look, I love what you have been delivering and I got great results, but I got this disturbing communication from Bela, and I want to find out what is your side of the story so I can decide what is the right thing to do.”

 

The client MUST, MUST, MUST give ALL of what he heard, regardless of how insulting, or dirty, or bad it is.

 

Or in the case of Bob, he should have gone to Karen and said, “I really liked what you told me, but my friend George told me…” (and give ALL the dirt), “that you are the worst, that you promised the world and never delivered… That you are a snake… That you know how to talk but cannot do the walk… He suggested that I will run, and fast…” etc.

 

One of a few options will happen:

 

1. While you describe to Karen what your snake, George, was telling you, you will realize he did not give you any facts but only generalities.

2. If he did give you facts, Karen will give you the other side of the story with full proof, and you will find out that the story is 180 degrees opposite to what the snake had to inject.

3. Very seldom, you will find what your friend told you has some truth in it, and you will have to decide what the right thing to do is.

 

The key is, if you are not willing to communicate YOU become blind!

 

The problem is it will become worse! You will become more blind.

 

The results are lower IQ and more problems.

 

The sad thing is that you will never succeed for as long as you are not willing to communicate.

 

So here is the handling!!!

 

You can get poison about your spouse, your kids, your friends, your employees, your boss, your suppliers, your clients, your instructors, your lawyer, your enemies, G*d, anyone.

 

Always communicate honestly with the person you got poison about. Give all the data you got and get his or her side of the story.

 

Always observe for yourself – find what is true for you based on your observation, based on your data.

 

Never approach such situations from the viewpoint of an investigator, or detective, or even worse – a spy.

 

Never allow yourself to be blinded by opinions.

 

The results:

 

1. Good relationships.

2. Higher IQ.

3. A bigger bank account.

4. Happiness.

 

During the next few days I will give you more data about these relationship snakes and how to handle them.

 

It is extremely important that you will actually understand the data and apply the drills.

 

And here is the drill for you:

 

I want you to look at a disagreement that you have – something that doesn’t work well right now – either at work, or at home, I want you to look at a disagreement and look back and find who gave you poison? Who poisoned you?

 

Now it could be a few people that poisoned you, but there is one person that poisoned you more than others.

 

And what you need to do is go to that person that you have a bad relationship with and tell him, “Look, this is what I heard from Johnny, this is what I heard from Barbara, this is what I heard…” Give him all the data. And tell him, “Look, I want a good relationship with you, and I know I need to give you the data so at least you know what is going on and you can defend yourself – you can give me the right data – I know the story is different. I know the story is one sided.”

 

And if you will do that, you will see that the relationship will improve.

 

Let me know how it’s going, and if you have any questions, of course you can ask me, and I will be very happy to answer!

 

Have a beautiful day, thank you very much for reading.

 

- Meir Ezra